Mom blog

Always Bittersweet

I’ve been a mommy since 2004.  I celebrated when my oldest was still a little bean inside.  My mom bought me my first Mother’s Day card and we celebrated our first together.  

In 2008 I lost her to cancer.  My world was turned upside down at 21 years old.  She was gone.  Ovarian cancer had taken over her body and stole her from me.  

This beautiful woman who I’d looked up to my whole life, and always turned to for advice, who had kissed my owies, cuddled on the couch watching tv, held me while I cried, told me everything would be ok, was just gone.  

My oldest turned three that year after his grandma died.  She didn’t get to watch him grow. They used to spend time outside every day, crunching the leaves on the ground, and she’d show him all the worlds beautiful things.  

He missed his grandma and would ask when she was coming home.  I told him she couldn’t, but she was his angel and would always be with him.  

I had my next son a little less than a year after passed away and my youngest five years later. I always show them her pictures, and tell my boys how much their grandma loves them and will always be there.  

I am a mother who lost her mother too soon.  She’s always in my heart and on my mind.  I love my boys, and adore being their mommy. Their official owie kisser, their cuddler, their shoulder to cry on, their huge warm hug for those hard days or just because, their protector always. 

Mother’s Day is hard for me, but it’s beautiful too.  

Happy Mothers Day Mom ❤️ 

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