Raising a child who has autism is hard. Point blank. As my experience has gone so far, it doesn’t get any easier, I’ve just adapted to our reality.
Then I sit back and really think about it. How is M feeling at the end of the day? Obviously I love my son and would do anything for him. I think about how he feels all the time, but when it comes to the after affects of a meltdown (and after I’ve calmed him), all I can think about is how mentally draining it left me. M must be twice as drained from focusing to hard trying to be “normal”.
Can you imagine not being able to complete simple everyday tasks? As much as him telling me he hates me and I’m not his mom on a daily basis hurts my poor mama heart, I get it.
Here are five not so simple meltdown inducing tasks:
M has a hard time remembering which soap/ shampoo to use and where to use it. He can shampoo his hair, but then it gets in his eyes which scares him so I have to help him rinse it off. Even getting water on his face scares him and he screams bloody murder at me “you’re trying to kill/drown me!” I’m actually amazed that the neighbors have not called cps because of how often this happens. Bath time is always hard.
Buttons and zippers
M still has not mastered how to button/ unbutton his pants. He’s getting better though! He usually just pulls them down to use the bathroom and I have remind him that at school it’s not appropriate to have your tushy showing. He also still has trouble zipping up his jackets. I always show him how, every day, and I know he will be able to button and zip like an expert some day.
This is a huge one. He’s so frustrated that he can’t tie them like his big brother, but every time I show him he says it is too hard. We try every day, and will keep doing so until he’s a shoe tier extraordinaire.
As of right now, unless we are having something like hot dogs or mac n cheese for dinner, he won’t eat it. The food aversions have been a constant battle since he was first chowing down on Gerber. I just recently stopped fighting it, and most of the time I have M make his food, which is usually a pb and j or a quesadilla. I’m hopefull (from other asd mom’s stories) that this will eventually get better or pass all together.
But he will eat the world’s largest gummy worm 🤣
For those of you who have kids on the spectrum, or are on it yourself, I’m sure you’ve been nodding from the other side of the screen, able to relate in one way or another. M can’t sleep if I don’t give him his melatonin. His brain is so full of everything that he can’t focus on sleep no matter how tired he is. Sometimes he’s scared, or sad, wants to watch videos about minecraft, whatever the case may be. Just last night for probably the 100,000th time, I told him every day we wake up and every night we go to sleep, you know you have to sleep so your brain is rested for the next day. Going to bed is hard.
M passed out with R ❤️
Maybe at some point we won’t need to adapt anymore. Regardless, I will keep helping my little dude no matter what.